Circle back around

This beautiful ring used to adorn my husband's hand, but now it’s in the bottom drawer of my bedside table. When Ramón was going into the hospital for his bone marrow transplant, he decided not to wear the ring for fear that he'd lose it in the month that we'd be there. Ramón often took his ring on and off throughout the day. He routinely removed it to eat, and we joked that he had to remain faithful to his first true love — food. Then, while in the hospital, one setback led to another, and he never wore the ring again.

I recently took the sleek black ring box out of its drawer, removed the outer case, then slowly opened the little box. There it was. Though my heart frowned for a fleeting moment, I immediately recalled the joy I felt when he started wearing the ring. It was (still is) a bold ring. It stood out on his hand, and it reminded me that we were partners. We agreed to do life together, and we did.

Soon after Ramón died, I remember seeing this quote. I don’t know who said it, but it spoke directly to my soul.

I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with you, and then I realized you spent the rest of your life with me.

That quote hurts and comforts all the same. Seeing Ramón’s ring brings me closure, yet it’s accompanied by a slight ache. That might always be the case, but that’s okay.

Since rings are circular, they represent totality and infinity. No beginning and no end. Yet, for now, Ramón's ring is at risk of spending eternity in a drawer because I haven't decided what to do with it. When I got my rings resized for my right hand, I inquired about molding Ramón's ring into other jewelry, but the jeweler said its material — titanium — would be difficult to work with. So, for now, it remains tucked away. And yet it’s still a circle. No matter the ring’s location, it symbolizes completeness.

One day the ring will come out of hibernation for good. Anybody got any ideas (aside from putting it on a necklace)? It would be nice to see the ring every day — a lovely reminder that Ramón spent the rest of his life with me.

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