Peace out, 2019

The time has finally come to say goodbye to one of the best, most awful years of my life. I got a cold on Thanksgiving (so thankful), which spiraled into quite a mess. After five days in the hospital – as the patient this time – I am at home on day 20 of IV antibiotics. So, as the clock strikes midnight tonight, I’ll be unhooking infusion #116 and hoping it’s one of the last. 2019 has been hard, but there is a lot for which to be grateful.

This year we lost the sweetest rescue dog, Phoenix. Though we only got to love on her for the last 26 months of her life, they were beyond rewarding. At times I miss her tremendously, but mostly I’m grateful for the time we shared together.

This year a new medication gave me a glimpse of what it would be like to be, dare I say, “normal,” then resulted in side effects that forced me to discontinue. At times I’m quite frustrated that this taste of normalcy was so short-lived, but mostly I’m grateful that progress is being made in the fight against cystic fibrosis.

This year instead of celebrating Ramon’s birthday, we were dumbfounded by his leukemia diagnosis. After five rounds of chemo, we’ve entered a holding pattern. At times I wonder what the future will look like, but mostly I’m grateful for each of the 238 days we’ve enjoyed since his birthday.

This year has been a challenge, but it has also been filled with kindness. At times it felt like we were the characters in a horribly written sitcom (Writer 1: Hey, I’ve got it! Let’s give both main characters terminal diagnoses. Writer 2: I don’t know. Don’t you think that’s pushing it?). However, most of the time, we’ve been blanketed in love. At Winship’s healing garden, we have a favorite bench. For Christmas, my parents gifted us a bench with the same engraving. Wherever 2020 takes us all, my wish is that – more days than not – we find peace in our hearts and love in this world.


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